-Baronial-
ＩＤ：itoyukiya
暱稱：伊藤雪彥
生日：1919/02/2
地區：亞洲
悄悄話
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- 日常隨筆 (4)
- 歌詞私藏 (1)
- 夢燬前 (2)
- 原創小說 (4)
- 同人創作 (3)
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July 3, 2009
在日落時刻，雙手高舉過頭，形成完滿的一個圓。
頭頂一道逐漸稀薄的彩虹，靜靜通過的黑色鳥群。
還有流雲，緩慢灰囤的爬行，爬行於穹頂。
啊我看著影子，自己的影子。
交格著電線與建築物的憂鬱，癱平在柏油路邊。
它打了懶散的呵欠，感覺困倦，但本體仍執拗地伸展雙臂，
如松針朝蒼空舉枝嘗試一千零一次的穿刺。
如佔據樹頂的候鳥。在長途旅行之間，做一次抖擻筋骨的羽斂。
渴望完成自己。
亟欲成就一個溫柔的美好的句點。
還不能休息，影子齜牙而笑，我們一起。
黃昏之後，世界模糊成靛黑的湖泊。
最終那個圓是否還完好無損，雙臂是否還成圈？
只有等待日出了。
June 20, 2009
原創版本：伊藤雪彥
英譯版本：JAMES
十六歲前後，小錫人們會被推進一座高溫火爐。
火舌會模糊他們的驚嚇的五官，指頭迅速化合相黏，
稚嫩的小錫人還分不清楚臉上是痛苦還是淚水，就必須面臨巨大的重擊與刀刃。
最後出爐的，是製作精美、雕工細緻、整齊劃一的成熟錫人。
有銀行家錫人、律師錫人、教授錫人…忍耐的程序越多，生成結果就越繁複亮麗。
At about the age of sixteen,
they will be pushed into a high temperature furnace.
The fire will blur their shocked facial features;
fingers melt and combine immediately.
Tender little tin-man don’t recognized if it is pain or tears on its face, still it has to faced great strikes and cuts.
After all, what comes out of the furnace is an exquisite-made, elegant, neat, uniformed mature tin-man.
There are banker tin-man, lawyer tin-man, professor tin-man…the more procedure of suffering, the more complicated and bright the result is.
火爐的炊煙沒有一天停息，總是有小錫人被錫人催促著推進去。
有的小錫人帶著淚水，有的小錫人緊張得直咬指甲，有的小錫人期待地跟著前面的人。
有的小錫人繃著冷漠的臉，彷彿那灼燒而上的燄苗根本是幻影。
有的小錫人融化得比較快且容易定型，有的小錫人特剛硬，火焰沒辦法融化它，
在後面硬碰硬的衝擊之下，塑型失敗，擠壓成一團廢鐵被丟在旁邊。
Smock on the furnace hasn’t ever stop.
Little tin-man always forced into the furnace by grown ups.
Some little tin-man full with tears
some little tin-man bite finger nails nervously,
some little tin-man look forward while following the one in front.
Some little tin-man pull a cold face,
seems like the burning flame is only an illusion.
Some little tin-man melted fast and falls into a pattern easily;
some little tin-man are hardcore,
that fire can’t melt it down,
after some crash between each in the back,model fail,
crush into a ball of junk and abandoned.
嵌著紅寶石眼珠的小錫人，明天就滿十六歲了。
跟其他小錫人特別不同，他有塗抹亮光漆與顏料的肌膚，與特別精美的肢體。
這都要歸功於小錫人的成長環境。
當環境條件特別好的時候，就會孕育出比較特別的小錫人。
The little tin-man inlayed ruby diamond eyes is going to be sixteen next year.
Unlike the others, he has polished varnish and colored skin,
and beautiful special limbs.
These have to thanks for the condition that the little tin-man lived in.
When the condition is especially better,
it will breed some unusual little tin-man.
擔憂地凝視鏡子，裡面有一張格外憂鬱、蒼白的臉。
…明天是火爐之日。
想到這裡，小錫人寶石眼珠的光彩又更陰暗了。
他懷藏一個極大的秘密，就連小錫人的父母、小錫人的老師都不知道。
Looking anxiously in the mirror, there is an extra gloom, pale face.
…tomorrow is the day of furnace.
Little tin-man’s diamond eyes dim when he think of it.
He hides an enormous secret,
neither his parents nor his teachers know.
───他的心，是玻璃做的。只要有陽光，光彩就特別美麗。
疼痛似地將手輕輕放置胸前，小錫人知道，玻璃是容易破碎的。
他捨不得讓他的心暴露在崩壞的危險下。
───His heart, is made of glass.
It glows beautifully when sun shines.
Putting hands on chest like it’s painful,
little tin-man knows, glass is delicate.
He can’t let go his heart to appear under collapsing dangerous.
某一次他從書上得知了小王子與他心愛玫瑰的故事。
小錫人想，那株玫瑰其實是生在小王子的心上，跟他最珍惜的玻璃心臟一樣。
Once he read about the story of little prince and his adoring rose.
Little tin-man thinks,
that rose is actually living in little prince’s heart,
just like his adoring glass heart.
因為擔憂，他問遍了所有認識的成熟錫人：「你的心還完好無損嗎？」
Anxiousness, he asked every grown up tin-man he knew
“Is your heart still in good shape?”
每問一次絕望更重，成熟錫人多半是自顧自地做事，偶爾露出茫然的表情，
甚至有些傢伙質問他是哪一家媒體派來的？不由分說便惡狠狠地趕走小錫人。
終於有一個老錫人願意跟小錫人分享他的心。
He feel more despair every time he asked,
grown up tin-mans are pretty much doing their own business,
seldom give him a lost look,
some even ask which media he’s working for?
Then kick little tin-man out without hearing the answer.
There is finally an old tin-man want to share his heart with little tin-man.
「但是我已經很久沒有關注它了。」
老錫人抖著酒精中毒的雙手，慢慢打開胸口。
“But I haven’t take care of it for years ”
The old tin-man open his chest slowly with his shaky alcoholic hands.
小錫人期待地望著那扇門越開越大，終於流出一地細碎的白沙。
老錫人怔怔地站著，垂下頭凝視那些碎得不能再盡的粉末。
Little tin-man looks at the door open wider and wider.
Then, shattered white sand flow out and gathers on the floor.
Old tin-man just stands there,
looking down at those shattered powder.
「該是一只美麗而完整的貝殼。原本不是這樣的。」
老錫人連膝蓋也顫抖了。
“It should be a complete beautiful shell. It wasn’t like this.”
Old tin-man starts shaking his knee.
「妻子過世之後，它就慢慢不中用了。」
“After my wife died, it slowly became useless.”
老錫人蹲下來收拾砂礫的模樣極可憐。
小錫人連繼續提問的勇氣都沒有，難以忍受地逃開了。
Old tin-man looks pathetic squatting down to pick up sand.
Little tin-man has no courage to ask question no more,
can’t stand it, run away.
後來小錫人找上西裝畢挺，看起來意氣風發的成熟錫人。
錫人接電話、撥電話，短短的空檔還拿出企劃案草稿塗改。
在不斷懇求下，錫人才不情不願地打開胸膛讓小錫人瞧一瞧。
裡頭藏著一枚扭曲不堪的錢幣。而且有濃濃的銅臭味。
After then, little tin-man find a energetic grown up tin-man in neat suit.
The tin-man take phone calls, dial,
even takeout to change project files in mini breaks.
After a series of little tin-man’s begging,
the tin-man finally open his chest unwillingly to give him a look.
There’s a twisted coin. And filled with heavy stink of money.
「請問，在火爐前它就是這個模樣嗎？」小錫人誠懇地問。
“Excuse me, was it like this before the furnace?”
錫人楞了楞，像做壞事被發現似地，浮上一層羞赧的表情：「當然不。」
「離開火爐後不知道什麼時候變化的。怪了…」錫人點燃一根香菸，陷入沉思。
The tin-man dazed a bit,
like has been discovered doing something bad, blushed and said
“Of course not.”
“After leaving the furnace, don’t know since when it changed.
That’s weird…”
Tin-man lighten a cigarette, fall into deep deliberate.
「至少裡面還有東西。」
錫人苦笑了一下：「你知道，有些人死透了。」
“At least it still has stuff in there.”
Tin-man gives a bitter laugh : “You know, some people are really dead.”
小錫人陸續又問了幾個人，仍失望而歸。
不能眼睜睜看著悲劇發生。他想。要做些什麼才好。
小錫人在房間反覆踱步，以至於母親誤以為孩子快要神經衰弱了。
Little tin-man keeps on asking people,
still returned with disappointment.
He can’t let tragedy happen in front of him anymore.
He wants to do something, but how?
Little tin-man paces back and forward in the room,
this leads mom to an idea that her child is going nuts.
「可以不進火爐嗎？」小錫人在晚餐時，幾近哀求地問母親。
「不行。」父母異口同聲回答：「這是人生必經的過程。」
小錫人默默走回房間。
“Can I not in the furnace?”
little tin-man asks mom, or begs, while dining.
“No.” parents answered a loud at the same time:
“This is part of a life.”
Little tin-man walked to his room without saying a word.
他做了一個決定。
He made a decision.
「親愛的，準備出發摟。」小錫人的媽媽朝樓上呼喊。
錫人爸爸已經開車在外頭等了。
“Darling, it’s time to go.”
little tin-man’s mom is calling down stairs.
Tin-man daddy is already waiting in the car.
可以不進火爐嗎？
───孩子昨天的話讓他忐忑不安。
Can I not in the furnace?
───the sentence the child said yesterday made him insecure.
小錫人若想逃避試煉，像隔壁家三十歲都沒法進入火爐，拒絕離開房間的不孝子。
錫人爸爸發誓，絕對不讓這種事情發生。拿繩子綁也要把小錫人推進火爐裏。
他在車門邊放著封箱膠帶、麻繩、利剪，還有一包奶油太妃糖。
小錫人最愛吃奶油太妃糖。
或許用引誘的就行，錫人爸爸拼命盤算著。他覺得腦袋因急促運轉的緣故，要發燒了。
If little tin-man wants to avoid challenge,
like their neighbor, a thirty-year-old un-filial dude
who couldn’t enter the furnace, nor even leave the house.
Tin-man daddy swear to never let this happened.
He got to push him in the furnace,
even if necessarily to tide him up.
He placed boxing tape, hemp rope, sharp scissors,
and a package of butter taffy.
Little tin-man loves to eat butter taffy.
If only I can lure him, tin-man daddy won’t quit calculating.
He thinks his head spins around so fast that he is going to have a fever.
然而小錫人沒有出任何狀況。他衣著整齊地上車，表現得像是全世界最乖巧的小孩。
就連列隊進入火爐的時候，小錫人也沒有露出任何緊張不安的模樣。
不像其他小錫人哀哀慟哭，耍脾氣、大聲喧嘩。小錫人抬頭挺胸，靜靜走入火爐。
錫人爸爸驕傲極了，鐵門關上那一刻，眼眶充滿感動的淚水。
However, little tin-man doesn’t have any problem.
He just gets in the car tidily, like the world’s best boy.
Little tin-man doesn’t feel anxious or nervous,
not even when he line up with others into to the furnace.
Unlike others keep on crying, arguing, shouting,
little tin-man look up straight, walks in the furnace quietly.
Tin-man daddy is so proud of him.
When the door shut, his eyes were filled with happy tears.
在火浪組成的海洋，小錫人面對劇烈得幾乎令他尖叫的痛楚，及四面八方湧來的龐大壓力。
一段牽腸掛肚的殘忍切割，漸漸扭曲他端整的五官與骨骼。
撐大因火焰輝煌的眼珠，小錫人發現旁邊的小錫人蹲著不肯往前走，只能不停融化再融化。
In the ocean of fire, little tin-man faced violent pain that made him want to scream, and the pressure from all directions.
A series of cruel, sick cuts,
slowly twisted his tidy face and bones.
Widen his glowing eyes in fire, little tin-man found the others squating down and not moving at all. They just keep on melting and melting.
他感到步伐越來越艱難，只好不斷割捨身上的東西，他不確知自己究竟丟棄了多少。
再一次，他感到慶幸。
自己將最珍貴脆弱、最透明純淨的心，藏在房間的花盆裡。
He started to realized walking become harder and harder,
so he constantly abandon things on his body.
He isn’t sure how much he had abandoned.
Again, he feels fortunate.
hiding his dearest, delicate, innocent heart inside the flower plot in his bedroom.
真正的小錫人並不在這裡，此處的小錫人並不完整。再多磨難他都能忍受。
甚至，覺得自己無比勇敢，因為小錫人最軟弱恐懼受傷害的地方，已經被深深埋起。
The real little tin-man isn’t here;
the little tin-man here isn’t complete.
He can suffer no matter how much more.
Even, he feels so brave.
Because little tin-man’s weakness of getting hurt has been buried deeply.
終於小錫人成為坐辦公桌的青年錫人，認真、積極、忠於公司。
眼珠顏色穠豔的他，經過火爐蒸融、雕鑿，不再是當初那個有話直說的莽撞男孩。
垂著眼睛，整理文件，彷彿世界上最重要的事情就擺在案上一般專注。
錫人會將薪水袋的一部分拿給父母，以證明自己的獨立。
漸漸地，他買了車，遷出去租了套房，之後，還買了一隻相當好的錶。
At last, little tin-man become a young tin-man sitting on an office desk. He is hard-working, positive, and loyal to the company.
His eyes are deep, after furnace’s steaming, melt, restructuring,
he isn’t the immature rude boy who said whatever he want.
Eyes look down, sorting documents,
he’s so focused that seems like the most important thing on earth is on his desk.
Tin-mans will give part of salary bag to their parents,
as a declaration of self-independence.
Bit by bit, he bought a car, rent a suite, later on,
bought a very nice watch.
深湛的夜，他穿越白塵覆積的樓梯間，侷促低矮的走廊。
提著便利商店的塑膠袋和公事包。
Deep late night, he walks pass dusty stairway, low cramp hallway.
Taking convenient stories’ plastic bags and a suitcase.
因為生活的疲憊，憂苦如蛛網蔓垂周身，致使他再沒有注意過星空的顏色。
Because of the tiring life,
gloom and bitter creep over his body like a spider web,
made him not interested in starry nights anymore.
錫人把那盆花從家裏一併帶了出來。他沒有掘出那顆埋藏在泥裏的玻璃心。
Tin-man took the flowerpot out with him.
He didn’t dig out the glass heart in the dirt.
還不是時候。他想。職場太過憂懼煩擾。
即使在穿越火爐的過程割捨、焠煉了那麼多。他仍深怕自己不夠堅強，不慎碰壞了它。
Not yet. He thinks. Too many annoying job stuff to take care of.
Although abandon things and trained so much when he passed the wall of fire,he still think he is not strong enough, and might break it.
侷限在單人套房，他唯一的興趣是睡前，暗裏睜眼，聽冷風吹過窗簷乾涸的罅隙。
幻想自己撐起巨大的潔白的帆桅，泅游銀河。懷著閃亮繽紛的心。
風聲是啟程的號角，旅程將會十分遙遠、美好安靜，不會有渠乾藻枯的問題。
在這樣懶洋而舒適的想像之中，沉入泡泡浴般，鬆弛睡去。
Localized in a single suite, his only hobby is open eyes in the dark, listen wind blowing spaces between windows before he sleeps.
Imagine himself prop up huge white sail mast,
travel in the Milky Way. With a glamorous heart.
Wind is the horn of a journey, the journey is going to be very far,
beautiful and peaceful. It’s a place won’t have a water problem.
Diving in a bobble bath of lazy cozy fantasy, he relaxed and slept.
幾縷瀏海因為忙碌而茖差。錫人越發英俊，且漸漸嶄露頭角，頗受上司重用。
Some fringe of hair died because of busyness.
But tin-man become more handsome, and slightly become famous,
he is well beloved by top officials.
胸膛空洞至今，反而具有更多容量來吸納職場的事物。
他不覺有什麼不自在。
Since he emptied his chest,
he surprisingly has more space for job things.
He doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
直到某一天，錫人遇見蘋果花小姐。
Till one day, tin-man met Miss Apple Flower.
晨寒的工作日，青年錫人和往常一樣，睏瞇著眼，早早便抵達辦公室。
這天他覺得特別虛弱，以至於平時拘謹的領結打得有些鬆歪。那模樣其實是可愛的。
他翻開公事包，拿出待整理的資料，電腦開機。曝光的純白忽然渙散了意識。
青年錫人滑落辦公桌，頹倒在地，動也不動。
It’s a winter workday, young tin-man does his routine,
arrived his office early with a sleepy eyes.
Today he feels especially weak,
this made his tie knot kind of loose and tilting.
He actually looks very cute.
He opens his suitcase, takes out documents needed to be sorted,
turns on computer. The sudden white slacks his conscious.
Young tin-man slips down his office table, lying on the floor,
doesn’t move.
森白燦亮的世界緩緩退卻，錫人睜開眼，發覺眼前有一張陌生的、年輕的臉。
穿窄裙的錫人女孩格格朝他笑了。他從來沒有見過那麼好看的笑容。
成熟的錫人不做興那樣坦率、真摯、從心而發的表情。
The white world fades, tin-man opens his eyes,
there’s a unfamiliar, young face.
The tin-man girl in tight skirt laughs at him.
He hasn’t seen such a beautiful smile before.
Grown up tin-man don’t have facial expression as plain,
as sincere, as wholehearted.
「你發燒了。」錫人女孩摸了摸青年額頭，並遞上一杯溫茶：「用不著那麼拼啊。」
“You have a fever.” Tin-man girl touches young tin-man’s head.
She gives him a cup of tea:
“You don’t have to be so hard-working like this.”
臉色蒼白的青年端著瓷杯花茶，啜了一口，暈重的四肢溫暖起來。
「很香。」他讚美。
The pale face Youngman carry the china with flower tea,
he takes a sip, dizzy heavy limbs warm up.
“Smells great” He admires.
「是蘋果花泡的噢。」
錫人女孩又露出微笑，這次臉上泛起了蘋果一般的紅暈。
兩顆虎牙可愛極了，她領口有一股好聞的花果香。
“It’s made of apple flower.”
Tin-man girl smiles again,
this time there are some apple blushes on her face.
The two canine teeth are so cute,
and there is a kind of flower fragrant around her neckband.
怔怔惦記細節，青年錫人私下為她取了一個代號───蘋果花小姐。
He remembered the details slowly looking at her.
He made her a nickname secretly─── Miss Apple Flower.
蘋果花小姐是新進人員，許多瑣事都是她在跑。
影印、傳遞資料、輸入、傳真、泡茶、打掃、總機、訂便當…
她羞赧笨拙地蹬著高跟鞋，一會兒跑到左邊、一會兒跑到右邊，忙裡忙外。
辦公室的前輩似乎以此為樂，嘻嘩地訕笑，並將一些麻煩的項目丟給她。
Miss Apple Flower is really new here,
she runs for all kinds of sorts.
Printing, transforming data, typing, faxing, making tea,
cleaning, operating, booking box lunches…
She runs on her high hills clumsily and shyly everywhere,
all over the place.
Some old officials seems to be entertained by this,
mocking, and give her annoying stuff to do.
青年錫人總特別留意那咯噔咯噔、很有精神的鞋跟聲。
Young tin-mans are usually attracted by those energetic co co co sound of her high hills.
茶水間。
Tea room.
影印室。
Print room.
被主管叫過去。
Called by a director．
接電話。
Answer calls．
分送便當到座位。
Deliver box lunches to seats.
沒有人願意跟蘋果花小姐一起用餐，她總是躲到堆疊雜物的儲藏室去吃飯。
到了下午的休息時間，青年錫人會特別過去，叮囑蘋果花小姐為他泡杯花茶。
這時候蘋果花小姐無論再怎麼疲乏，都會顯露最燦爛認真的笑容。
No one wants to have lunch with Miss Apple Flower,
so she always hides in storeroom, having lunch behind piles of stuff.
When it’s afternoon’s break,
young tin-mans will go tell Miss Apple Flower to give them cups of tea.
Miss Apple Flower will give them the best,
brightest smile she has no matter how tired she is.
其他女職員目睹這一幕，更覺不快，變本加厲地刁難蘋果花小姐。
蘋果花小姐在辦公室簡直一刻不得坐。
「蘋果花小姐什麼事都做不好。」
辦公室的譏誚益發刻薄，夾雜惡意與嘲諷。
這是錫人青年第一次聽見職員批評蘋果花小姐。
每當蘋果花小姐將花茶端進辦公室，她們總是以輕蔑的眼神穿刺背影。
Other female officials aren’t comfortable with this,
they will criticized, pick on Miss Apple Flower even more.
Miss Apple Flower is absolutely busy in the office.
“Miss Apple Flower can’t do anything.”
The harsh laughing in the office is full with malice and taunt.
This is the first time young tin-man hear staff members criticizing Miss Apple Flower.
Every time Miss Apple Flower takes flower tea into office,
they will always despite her in the back.
青年偶爾會在辦公室敲打鍵盤的矜默中，與忙碌的蘋果花小姐偶然互望。
蘋果花小姐的耳朵會漸漸泛紅、接著是臉龐、若再久一點，連頸子都有些粉色了。
再度低垂眼珠，青年緘默地回到白紙黑字的檔案上。彷如止水。
他總是錯過蘋果花小姐悵然失落的表情。
Young tin-man sometimes looks at Miss Apple Flower in the eyes
while typing on the keyboard in silence.
Miss Apple Flower’s ear will become blushed, and then her check,
if more, even her neck become pink.
He looks down, Youngman remain silence and look back on those white and black documents. Like water stops.
He always doesn’t see the disappointment on Miss Apple Flower’s face.
（待續）
英譯版本：JAMES
十六歲前後，小錫人們會被推進一座高溫火爐。
火舌會模糊他們的驚嚇的五官，指頭迅速化合相黏，
稚嫩的小錫人還分不清楚臉上是痛苦還是淚水，就必須面臨巨大的重擊與刀刃。
最後出爐的，是製作精美、雕工細緻、整齊劃一的成熟錫人。
有銀行家錫人、律師錫人、教授錫人…忍耐的程序越多，生成結果就越繁複亮麗。
At about the age of sixteen,
they will be pushed into a high temperature furnace.
The fire will blur their shocked facial features;
fingers melt and combine immediately.
Tender little tin-man don’t recognized if it is pain or tears on its face, still it has to faced great strikes and cuts.
After all, what comes out of the furnace is an exquisite-made, elegant, neat, uniformed mature tin-man.
There are banker tin-man, lawyer tin-man, professor tin-man…the more procedure of suffering, the more complicated and bright the result is.
火爐的炊煙沒有一天停息，總是有小錫人被錫人催促著推進去。
有的小錫人帶著淚水，有的小錫人緊張得直咬指甲，有的小錫人期待地跟著前面的人。
有的小錫人繃著冷漠的臉，彷彿那灼燒而上的燄苗根本是幻影。
有的小錫人融化得比較快且容易定型，有的小錫人特剛硬，火焰沒辦法融化它，
在後面硬碰硬的衝擊之下，塑型失敗，擠壓成一團廢鐵被丟在旁邊。
Smock on the furnace hasn’t ever stop.
Little tin-man always forced into the furnace by grown ups.
Some little tin-man full with tears
some little tin-man bite finger nails nervously,
some little tin-man look forward while following the one in front.
Some little tin-man pull a cold face,
seems like the burning flame is only an illusion.
Some little tin-man melted fast and falls into a pattern easily;
some little tin-man are hardcore,
that fire can’t melt it down,
after some crash between each in the back,model fail,
crush into a ball of junk and abandoned.
嵌著紅寶石眼珠的小錫人，明天就滿十六歲了。
跟其他小錫人特別不同，他有塗抹亮光漆與顏料的肌膚，與特別精美的肢體。
這都要歸功於小錫人的成長環境。
當環境條件特別好的時候，就會孕育出比較特別的小錫人。
The little tin-man inlayed ruby diamond eyes is going to be sixteen next year.
Unlike the others, he has polished varnish and colored skin,
and beautiful special limbs.
These have to thanks for the condition that the little tin-man lived in.
When the condition is especially better,
it will breed some unusual little tin-man.
擔憂地凝視鏡子，裡面有一張格外憂鬱、蒼白的臉。
…明天是火爐之日。
想到這裡，小錫人寶石眼珠的光彩又更陰暗了。
他懷藏一個極大的秘密，就連小錫人的父母、小錫人的老師都不知道。
Looking anxiously in the mirror, there is an extra gloom, pale face.
…tomorrow is the day of furnace.
Little tin-man’s diamond eyes dim when he think of it.
He hides an enormous secret,
neither his parents nor his teachers know.
───他的心，是玻璃做的。只要有陽光，光彩就特別美麗。
疼痛似地將手輕輕放置胸前，小錫人知道，玻璃是容易破碎的。
他捨不得讓他的心暴露在崩壞的危險下。
───His heart, is made of glass.
It glows beautifully when sun shines.
Putting hands on chest like it’s painful,
little tin-man knows, glass is delicate.
He can’t let go his heart to appear under collapsing dangerous.
某一次他從書上得知了小王子與他心愛玫瑰的故事。
小錫人想，那株玫瑰其實是生在小王子的心上，跟他最珍惜的玻璃心臟一樣。
Once he read about the story of little prince and his adoring rose.
Little tin-man thinks,
that rose is actually living in little prince’s heart,
just like his adoring glass heart.
因為擔憂，他問遍了所有認識的成熟錫人：「你的心還完好無損嗎？」
Anxiousness, he asked every grown up tin-man he knew
“Is your heart still in good shape?”
每問一次絕望更重，成熟錫人多半是自顧自地做事，偶爾露出茫然的表情，
甚至有些傢伙質問他是哪一家媒體派來的？不由分說便惡狠狠地趕走小錫人。
終於有一個老錫人願意跟小錫人分享他的心。
He feel more despair every time he asked,
grown up tin-mans are pretty much doing their own business,
seldom give him a lost look,
some even ask which media he’s working for?
Then kick little tin-man out without hearing the answer.
There is finally an old tin-man want to share his heart with little tin-man.
「但是我已經很久沒有關注它了。」
老錫人抖著酒精中毒的雙手，慢慢打開胸口。
“But I haven’t take care of it for years ”
The old tin-man open his chest slowly with his shaky alcoholic hands.
小錫人期待地望著那扇門越開越大，終於流出一地細碎的白沙。
老錫人怔怔地站著，垂下頭凝視那些碎得不能再盡的粉末。
Little tin-man looks at the door open wider and wider.
Then, shattered white sand flow out and gathers on the floor.
Old tin-man just stands there,
looking down at those shattered powder.
「該是一只美麗而完整的貝殼。原本不是這樣的。」
老錫人連膝蓋也顫抖了。
“It should be a complete beautiful shell. It wasn’t like this.”
Old tin-man starts shaking his knee.
「妻子過世之後，它就慢慢不中用了。」
“After my wife died, it slowly became useless.”
老錫人蹲下來收拾砂礫的模樣極可憐。
小錫人連繼續提問的勇氣都沒有，難以忍受地逃開了。
Old tin-man looks pathetic squatting down to pick up sand.
Little tin-man has no courage to ask question no more,
can’t stand it, run away.
後來小錫人找上西裝畢挺，看起來意氣風發的成熟錫人。
錫人接電話、撥電話，短短的空檔還拿出企劃案草稿塗改。
在不斷懇求下，錫人才不情不願地打開胸膛讓小錫人瞧一瞧。
裡頭藏著一枚扭曲不堪的錢幣。而且有濃濃的銅臭味。
After then, little tin-man find a energetic grown up tin-man in neat suit.
The tin-man take phone calls, dial,
even takeout to change project files in mini breaks.
After a series of little tin-man’s begging,
the tin-man finally open his chest unwillingly to give him a look.
There’s a twisted coin. And filled with heavy stink of money.
「請問，在火爐前它就是這個模樣嗎？」小錫人誠懇地問。
“Excuse me, was it like this before the furnace?”
錫人楞了楞，像做壞事被發現似地，浮上一層羞赧的表情：「當然不。」
「離開火爐後不知道什麼時候變化的。怪了…」錫人點燃一根香菸，陷入沉思。
The tin-man dazed a bit,
like has been discovered doing something bad, blushed and said
“Of course not.”
“After leaving the furnace, don’t know since when it changed.
That’s weird…”
Tin-man lighten a cigarette, fall into deep deliberate.
「至少裡面還有東西。」
錫人苦笑了一下：「你知道，有些人死透了。」
“At least it still has stuff in there.”
Tin-man gives a bitter laugh : “You know, some people are really dead.”
小錫人陸續又問了幾個人，仍失望而歸。
不能眼睜睜看著悲劇發生。他想。要做些什麼才好。
小錫人在房間反覆踱步，以至於母親誤以為孩子快要神經衰弱了。
Little tin-man keeps on asking people,
still returned with disappointment.
He can’t let tragedy happen in front of him anymore.
He wants to do something, but how?
Little tin-man paces back and forward in the room,
this leads mom to an idea that her child is going nuts.
「可以不進火爐嗎？」小錫人在晚餐時，幾近哀求地問母親。
「不行。」父母異口同聲回答：「這是人生必經的過程。」
小錫人默默走回房間。
“Can I not in the furnace?”
little tin-man asks mom, or begs, while dining.
“No.” parents answered a loud at the same time:
“This is part of a life.”
Little tin-man walked to his room without saying a word.
他做了一個決定。
He made a decision.
「親愛的，準備出發摟。」小錫人的媽媽朝樓上呼喊。
錫人爸爸已經開車在外頭等了。
“Darling, it’s time to go.”
little tin-man’s mom is calling down stairs.
Tin-man daddy is already waiting in the car.
可以不進火爐嗎？
───孩子昨天的話讓他忐忑不安。
Can I not in the furnace?
───the sentence the child said yesterday made him insecure.
小錫人若想逃避試煉，像隔壁家三十歲都沒法進入火爐，拒絕離開房間的不孝子。
錫人爸爸發誓，絕對不讓這種事情發生。拿繩子綁也要把小錫人推進火爐裏。
他在車門邊放著封箱膠帶、麻繩、利剪，還有一包奶油太妃糖。
小錫人最愛吃奶油太妃糖。
或許用引誘的就行，錫人爸爸拼命盤算著。他覺得腦袋因急促運轉的緣故，要發燒了。
If little tin-man wants to avoid challenge,
like their neighbor, a thirty-year-old un-filial dude
who couldn’t enter the furnace, nor even leave the house.
Tin-man daddy swear to never let this happened.
He got to push him in the furnace,
even if necessarily to tide him up.
He placed boxing tape, hemp rope, sharp scissors,
and a package of butter taffy.
Little tin-man loves to eat butter taffy.
If only I can lure him, tin-man daddy won’t quit calculating.
He thinks his head spins around so fast that he is going to have a fever.
然而小錫人沒有出任何狀況。他衣著整齊地上車，表現得像是全世界最乖巧的小孩。
就連列隊進入火爐的時候，小錫人也沒有露出任何緊張不安的模樣。
不像其他小錫人哀哀慟哭，耍脾氣、大聲喧嘩。小錫人抬頭挺胸，靜靜走入火爐。
錫人爸爸驕傲極了，鐵門關上那一刻，眼眶充滿感動的淚水。
However, little tin-man doesn’t have any problem.
He just gets in the car tidily, like the world’s best boy.
Little tin-man doesn’t feel anxious or nervous,
not even when he line up with others into to the furnace.
Unlike others keep on crying, arguing, shouting,
little tin-man look up straight, walks in the furnace quietly.
Tin-man daddy is so proud of him.
When the door shut, his eyes were filled with happy tears.
在火浪組成的海洋，小錫人面對劇烈得幾乎令他尖叫的痛楚，及四面八方湧來的龐大壓力。
一段牽腸掛肚的殘忍切割，漸漸扭曲他端整的五官與骨骼。
撐大因火焰輝煌的眼珠，小錫人發現旁邊的小錫人蹲著不肯往前走，只能不停融化再融化。
In the ocean of fire, little tin-man faced violent pain that made him want to scream, and the pressure from all directions.
A series of cruel, sick cuts,
slowly twisted his tidy face and bones.
Widen his glowing eyes in fire, little tin-man found the others squating down and not moving at all. They just keep on melting and melting.
他感到步伐越來越艱難，只好不斷割捨身上的東西，他不確知自己究竟丟棄了多少。
再一次，他感到慶幸。
自己將最珍貴脆弱、最透明純淨的心，藏在房間的花盆裡。
He started to realized walking become harder and harder,
so he constantly abandon things on his body.
He isn’t sure how much he had abandoned.
Again, he feels fortunate.
hiding his dearest, delicate, innocent heart inside the flower plot in his bedroom.
真正的小錫人並不在這裡，此處的小錫人並不完整。再多磨難他都能忍受。
甚至，覺得自己無比勇敢，因為小錫人最軟弱恐懼受傷害的地方，已經被深深埋起。
The real little tin-man isn’t here;
the little tin-man here isn’t complete.
He can suffer no matter how much more.
Even, he feels so brave.
Because little tin-man’s weakness of getting hurt has been buried deeply.
終於小錫人成為坐辦公桌的青年錫人，認真、積極、忠於公司。
眼珠顏色穠豔的他，經過火爐蒸融、雕鑿，不再是當初那個有話直說的莽撞男孩。
垂著眼睛，整理文件，彷彿世界上最重要的事情就擺在案上一般專注。
錫人會將薪水袋的一部分拿給父母，以證明自己的獨立。
漸漸地，他買了車，遷出去租了套房，之後，還買了一隻相當好的錶。
At last, little tin-man become a young tin-man sitting on an office desk. He is hard-working, positive, and loyal to the company.
His eyes are deep, after furnace’s steaming, melt, restructuring,
he isn’t the immature rude boy who said whatever he want.
Eyes look down, sorting documents,
he’s so focused that seems like the most important thing on earth is on his desk.
Tin-mans will give part of salary bag to their parents,
as a declaration of self-independence.
Bit by bit, he bought a car, rent a suite, later on,
bought a very nice watch.
深湛的夜，他穿越白塵覆積的樓梯間，侷促低矮的走廊。
提著便利商店的塑膠袋和公事包。
Deep late night, he walks pass dusty stairway, low cramp hallway.
Taking convenient stories’ plastic bags and a suitcase.
因為生活的疲憊，憂苦如蛛網蔓垂周身，致使他再沒有注意過星空的顏色。
Because of the tiring life,
gloom and bitter creep over his body like a spider web,
made him not interested in starry nights anymore.
錫人把那盆花從家裏一併帶了出來。他沒有掘出那顆埋藏在泥裏的玻璃心。
Tin-man took the flowerpot out with him.
He didn’t dig out the glass heart in the dirt.
還不是時候。他想。職場太過憂懼煩擾。
即使在穿越火爐的過程割捨、焠煉了那麼多。他仍深怕自己不夠堅強，不慎碰壞了它。
Not yet. He thinks. Too many annoying job stuff to take care of.
Although abandon things and trained so much when he passed the wall of fire,he still think he is not strong enough, and might break it.
侷限在單人套房，他唯一的興趣是睡前，暗裏睜眼，聽冷風吹過窗簷乾涸的罅隙。
幻想自己撐起巨大的潔白的帆桅，泅游銀河。懷著閃亮繽紛的心。
風聲是啟程的號角，旅程將會十分遙遠、美好安靜，不會有渠乾藻枯的問題。
在這樣懶洋而舒適的想像之中，沉入泡泡浴般，鬆弛睡去。
Localized in a single suite, his only hobby is open eyes in the dark, listen wind blowing spaces between windows before he sleeps.
Imagine himself prop up huge white sail mast,
travel in the Milky Way. With a glamorous heart.
Wind is the horn of a journey, the journey is going to be very far,
beautiful and peaceful. It’s a place won’t have a water problem.
Diving in a bobble bath of lazy cozy fantasy, he relaxed and slept.
幾縷瀏海因為忙碌而茖差。錫人越發英俊，且漸漸嶄露頭角，頗受上司重用。
Some fringe of hair died because of busyness.
But tin-man become more handsome, and slightly become famous,
he is well beloved by top officials.
胸膛空洞至今，反而具有更多容量來吸納職場的事物。
他不覺有什麼不自在。
Since he emptied his chest,
he surprisingly has more space for job things.
He doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
直到某一天，錫人遇見蘋果花小姐。
Till one day, tin-man met Miss Apple Flower.
晨寒的工作日，青年錫人和往常一樣，睏瞇著眼，早早便抵達辦公室。
這天他覺得特別虛弱，以至於平時拘謹的領結打得有些鬆歪。那模樣其實是可愛的。
他翻開公事包，拿出待整理的資料，電腦開機。曝光的純白忽然渙散了意識。
青年錫人滑落辦公桌，頹倒在地，動也不動。
It’s a winter workday, young tin-man does his routine,
arrived his office early with a sleepy eyes.
Today he feels especially weak,
this made his tie knot kind of loose and tilting.
He actually looks very cute.
He opens his suitcase, takes out documents needed to be sorted,
turns on computer. The sudden white slacks his conscious.
Young tin-man slips down his office table, lying on the floor,
doesn’t move.
森白燦亮的世界緩緩退卻，錫人睜開眼，發覺眼前有一張陌生的、年輕的臉。
穿窄裙的錫人女孩格格朝他笑了。他從來沒有見過那麼好看的笑容。
成熟的錫人不做興那樣坦率、真摯、從心而發的表情。
The white world fades, tin-man opens his eyes,
there’s a unfamiliar, young face.
The tin-man girl in tight skirt laughs at him.
He hasn’t seen such a beautiful smile before.
Grown up tin-man don’t have facial expression as plain,
as sincere, as wholehearted.
「你發燒了。」錫人女孩摸了摸青年額頭，並遞上一杯溫茶：「用不著那麼拼啊。」
“You have a fever.” Tin-man girl touches young tin-man’s head.
She gives him a cup of tea:
“You don’t have to be so hard-working like this.”
臉色蒼白的青年端著瓷杯花茶，啜了一口，暈重的四肢溫暖起來。
「很香。」他讚美。
The pale face Youngman carry the china with flower tea,
he takes a sip, dizzy heavy limbs warm up.
“Smells great” He admires.
「是蘋果花泡的噢。」
錫人女孩又露出微笑，這次臉上泛起了蘋果一般的紅暈。
兩顆虎牙可愛極了，她領口有一股好聞的花果香。
“It’s made of apple flower.”
Tin-man girl smiles again,
this time there are some apple blushes on her face.
The two canine teeth are so cute,
and there is a kind of flower fragrant around her neckband.
怔怔惦記細節，青年錫人私下為她取了一個代號───蘋果花小姐。
He remembered the details slowly looking at her.
He made her a nickname secretly─── Miss Apple Flower.
蘋果花小姐是新進人員，許多瑣事都是她在跑。
影印、傳遞資料、輸入、傳真、泡茶、打掃、總機、訂便當…
她羞赧笨拙地蹬著高跟鞋，一會兒跑到左邊、一會兒跑到右邊，忙裡忙外。
辦公室的前輩似乎以此為樂，嘻嘩地訕笑，並將一些麻煩的項目丟給她。
Miss Apple Flower is really new here,
she runs for all kinds of sorts.
Printing, transforming data, typing, faxing, making tea,
cleaning, operating, booking box lunches…
She runs on her high hills clumsily and shyly everywhere,
all over the place.
Some old officials seems to be entertained by this,
mocking, and give her annoying stuff to do.
青年錫人總特別留意那咯噔咯噔、很有精神的鞋跟聲。
Young tin-mans are usually attracted by those energetic co co co sound of her high hills.
茶水間。
Tea room.
影印室。
Print room.
被主管叫過去。
Called by a director．
接電話。
Answer calls．
分送便當到座位。
Deliver box lunches to seats.
沒有人願意跟蘋果花小姐一起用餐，她總是躲到堆疊雜物的儲藏室去吃飯。
到了下午的休息時間，青年錫人會特別過去，叮囑蘋果花小姐為他泡杯花茶。
這時候蘋果花小姐無論再怎麼疲乏，都會顯露最燦爛認真的笑容。
No one wants to have lunch with Miss Apple Flower,
so she always hides in storeroom, having lunch behind piles of stuff.
When it’s afternoon’s break,
young tin-mans will go tell Miss Apple Flower to give them cups of tea.
Miss Apple Flower will give them the best,
brightest smile she has no matter how tired she is.
其他女職員目睹這一幕，更覺不快，變本加厲地刁難蘋果花小姐。
蘋果花小姐在辦公室簡直一刻不得坐。
「蘋果花小姐什麼事都做不好。」
辦公室的譏誚益發刻薄，夾雜惡意與嘲諷。
這是錫人青年第一次聽見職員批評蘋果花小姐。
每當蘋果花小姐將花茶端進辦公室，她們總是以輕蔑的眼神穿刺背影。
Other female officials aren’t comfortable with this,
they will criticized, pick on Miss Apple Flower even more.
Miss Apple Flower is absolutely busy in the office.
“Miss Apple Flower can’t do anything.”
The harsh laughing in the office is full with malice and taunt.
This is the first time young tin-man hear staff members criticizing Miss Apple Flower.
Every time Miss Apple Flower takes flower tea into office,
they will always despite her in the back.
青年偶爾會在辦公室敲打鍵盤的矜默中，與忙碌的蘋果花小姐偶然互望。
蘋果花小姐的耳朵會漸漸泛紅、接著是臉龐、若再久一點，連頸子都有些粉色了。
再度低垂眼珠，青年緘默地回到白紙黑字的檔案上。彷如止水。
他總是錯過蘋果花小姐悵然失落的表情。
Young tin-man sometimes looks at Miss Apple Flower in the eyes
while typing on the keyboard in silence.
Miss Apple Flower’s ear will become blushed, and then her check,
if more, even her neck become pink.
He looks down, Youngman remain silence and look back on those white and black documents. Like water stops.
He always doesn’t see the disappointment on Miss Apple Flower’s face.
（待續）
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