萍心静气 ....real me living in a real world...

有时候漫无目的的走着跑着会很累的
我决定不再往无目标的方向跑了....就这样
我要向标杆直跑
专著的朝梦想前进
也要多爱自己
懂得保护自己
how can 2 walk together unless they agree...
i need one who can agree...

刚刚想就寝
但无意间看到朋友在脸书放了这段MV
看了感触好多....

本以为是你依赖我
现在反而想要依赖你
却也不能
不想成为绊脚石
就独自一人做着我们曾经说好
要一起做的每一件事
想着一起要去的地方
我们说好的
这些我都还记得
想念你说过的每一句话
现在要再听一遍都好像是种奢侈
从来没觉得我想依赖你
直到现在变得好像失去了
才知道你是我想依赖的
你说想念...我虽看不到
但也不要求你付出行动
人都是自私的
但我却没权利这么任性
你在就好了
一切能重来那就好了...
但现在连呼吸
想到你...就不自觉地会痛...
但想见不能见最痛....

现在已经挺晚了
应该是要上床睡觉的时间
明天一早还要工作
但因为刚刚在看了看自己的梦
一时感觉亢奋地睡不着
算了算就真的好像怀胎十个月
虽然现阶段还好像在酝酿的阶段
已经让我觉得兴奋不已
很难想象如果真的达成
绝对不是人为
或是侥幸
圣经说神能够行出超乎
我们所求甚至所想的
但如果非他所愿
我也真的无所谓
但很的要让神带领我
没有侥幸
就把梦交在您手中
毕竟这也是您把我从梦中
惊醒的异像
我会继续努力....
但求您牵着我走...

i was just reading a friend's blog  about her ministry how people react or tried to manipulate to go up to the next level.. i would agree its a very human thing wanting to climb up the social level, be it in our career, the kind of houses we live, the salary we earn...the kind pf school your kids goes to etc...

But i believe in all things.... God is the one who promotes... but like what  PT shared, even if it don't happen, will we stil be faithful? sometimes we just need to close one eye and turn off the judgement button...for its just not up to us to judge...we are not perfect individually... though sometimes we don't understand why it happens...or don't happen... if i would give a word to that friend....time to time, we may not have the slightest clue, but we have to keep check of our heart...why and who we are doing what we doo for...He is none other than God Himself..who has came to serve and not to be served...

if we are to be a gatekeeper all our lives in the house of God... then be faithful n be the best gatekeeper... for while men look at the outward...God looks at our heart....

Just stay neutral and be faithful ...and do our best at what was given to us... and share each other joy if one is being lifted up and hug when one is down..

Lastly, God is a good God....beyond good i would say....beyond everything that is good on this earth... everythiing we do it's really between us individually with God... His ways is higher...sometimes its so high that you cant see... a saying goes... when u can't see His hands, trust His heart... He has His best thoughts, plans and welfare for each of our lives...

Today woke up by the pleasant visit of my baby niece.. Perene. She came over to our place to stay coz her Grandma and parents have things to attend to， and thus she need to stay over for the first time at 外婆's house.

She has grown even much more since i saw her the week before...they shaved her hair...people believed that hair will be even healthier once u shaved the hair of a newborn.


After that i went off to do a shoot with Wong Li Lin... though i had not seen her in the local scene, she seems to be very busy with family, kids, her own business and at the same time she is filming a German movie and "Unexpected Access Season 2".

 

Chatting with her and also getting updates of her while she was doing her interview really got me quite inspired. She did not have the most awesome childhood, was fostered by 2 families, one malay and the other one a hokkien family, never had stayed with her own family until only in recent years they got back in contact. She said she had difficulties finding her own identity till the time she was 28 years of age.

But in the midst of all these, though difficult and unusual experiences she had to go through, you know she is still counting her blessing like she got a scholarship from a lady to study in England which was one of the best thing that had happened to her.

We know a person is who he is by the way they are brought up, But yet sitting behind my brushes is this strong  and determined  lady who had all the reasons to whine and hold a pity party for herself but yet she didn't...

She had a pair of very well-behaved and mannered children, and they are very sensible for their age.. can see that she spent alot of time nurturing them and taking very good care of her family despite of the complicated childhood she had been through.

She is really one real and passionate woman....knowing that she cannot be always in control of life but she can make full use of what she already has in her hands to maximise life.... to be truely happy... and loving those whom she love....indeed, no one at their death bed would say they wanna work more...but most of the time having regrets of not loving and spending more time with those whom they hold dear to..

I hope i will be a good and loving wife and mum next time....as for now, a loving daughter and friend...