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我走开。。。
jaceang 在天空部落發表於03:10:25 | 心情寫照 氣象

从小我就很会看人的脸色
可能是因为爸妈都得出外工作
我就交给祖母带大
从两岁一直到国中就在祖母的面包店里打滚
别家的孩子都睡在床上
小小的身躯
如果要睡午觉
就会钻进放面包的小柜子里
刺刺得让皮肤觉得痒痒的面包削
那面包香的味道还让我记忆犹新
常常被笑像小猫咪
因为在那种环境长大
见到的人也多
使得我特别会观察别人的脸色
我一察觉得事情不妙
就会不动声色的到一边去
哭也不会让祖母知道
委屈也不会说出来
就暗自的哭泣
也从来不向爸妈抱怨
唯一的宣泄方式就画画
到了长大
这样的作风还是延续着
在学校当救伤团的团长
团员做错事
总是会好言相劝
直到有一天,
在学校的校庆,
我是总司令
看到团队在彩排的漫不经心
那时就真的骂了
但是哭着骂
到了教会
做了小组长
组员在我面前情绪激动砸玻璃
我又被吓坏
但还是平心静气的帮他
化解了僵局
我当时其实满生自己的气
觉得我为何不骂出口
直到有一天康牧师问我
觉得自己这样好吗?
我摇了摇头
说觉得因该把不愉快说出来
觉得身为领导者
要more verbal
但康牧师说“如果没有圣灵
在我们生命中运行
可能会世界大乱
但就因为有圣灵
我们才会更像基督
不要觉得这是缺点"
当时我真的觉得庆幸
这是第一次
有人这样对我说

我走到一边。。。因为会看脸色
 


In His Presence...
jaceang 在天空部落發表於02:15:42 | 新生命- 與基督同行 氣象

Yesterday, Cindy called me at midnight, to be the judge of the WYZ youth camp project runway. I was suppoeed to be at the choir audition, but Belle gave me n Sher a break. So i went there today instead. And really the highlight is not about being the judge, but the word that Pastor preached about..,,the key to a breakthrough is to be in the presence of God. it was one of my favourite sermon which has constantly been a reminder of all that i have in God.

Genesis 4;16 Cain murdered  Abel because he thought that God favoured Abel more than him.(Genesis 4:8) and he left the presence of God because he was too ashamed to face God, On the other hand in Psalms 51:11 David committed adultery and murder. But he choosed to stay in the presence of God. 2 men committed the same sin but their response to God is so drastic and different. One decided to leave, one choosed to embraced God and stayed in His presence.

And Pastor moved on to elaborate that the presence of God is found in around God's house, God's presence is found around God's priest. God;s preence creates a greater pursuit for His presence. A greater hunger for His presence. In 1 Chronicles 13:13-14, 15:16.21.24, talks about Obed Edom who was so hungry for the presence of God that he signed up to serve in every sngle ministry in the house of God.

Lastly, the presence of God reveal God's purpose. Pastor elaborated at times we may think that we may not be the best or even God;s best. But God will always use a plan B in many occasion. Many times in the bible, the double portion of God's blessing is often given to the 2nd son, which was rightfully the first born's. This is always the part of this sermon that i teared...

It somehow reminded me of how i became a cgl...i wasn't the most spiritual or the longest in church in the line of candidates, how i served as a singer, how i wanted to be a makeup artist  though there were some obstacles along the way... the vision that i had that affirms me, how i became a chinese service songleader, how things may had happened at home and how He had seen me through...
i am really thankful for all He had done...will trust Him even more for all that He has in stored for me...





 


握紧
jaceang 在天空部落發表於23:05:59 | 心情寫照 氣象

结束吧。。。
jaceang 在天空部落發表於07:51:14 | 未分類 氣象
今天一早醒来的我
突然有疑惑
突然觉得自己做了一场梦
突然觉得事情好像
不是自己看到
耳朵听到的
这感觉很百感交集
我想真的就到这里
不知道为何会痛
可能我真的有用到心
所以斩断了会痛吧
就这样结束它
冬天要结束了
该结束了
我决定了
就这样。。。

收拾心情
今天要到动物园去

transition...
jaceang 在天空部落發表於02:25:06 | 心情寫照 氣象

well.... if old grandpa saw this article n realised im sleeping late again......he will start mumbling, "why didn't she heed my advice and sleep early..."
i am trying alright....but just can't sleep??!!!!!
Hope that everything is well in the midst of transition....these 2 days can really feel that you are really exhausted from all the running around...searching for houses, doing all the administrations...just know that everyone is keeping you in prayers.. jiayou!! It's just for a season!! Everything will fall into place very soon,.,.
 


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