March 28, 2009
True Love Can Conquer All
Marriages between people of different cultures are an increasing feature of life in twenty –first century Britain, but for many people, coming to this country to be with someone that they love can be an experience that brings with it difficulties.
Moving to another country to start a life with someone involves adjusting to a whole new way of life. From my own experience, I knew that I would be happy living in any country with my husband rather than being separated from him on another continent and I was willing to make that change. Others in the same situation have made the move to this country as they had grown tired of being separated by thousands of miles the long and painful periods of separation and the flying back and forth between countries that their relationships involved. Love is more than words, and sometimes a gesture of commitment is needed to show how much you care for one another.
Love may be more than words, but sometimes the words themselves can be a problem. Though I speak English as a second language I sometimes find that I lack the subtly of language that I require for a particular situation. Sometimes I find that my husband and I may argue due to unintentional misunderstandings, or sometimes I find that I cannot find the words in English to express how I am truly feeling when the exact thoughts and feelings that I have are in my own language. Acceptance and understanding and honesty is the key to any successful relationship, and the obstacles presented by the language barrier can lead to upset and frustration.
Living away from the country of your birth often means missing the things one takes for granted back home. Michelle told me that Taiwanese food is the thing that she misses the most. Finding the right ingredients or familiar brands can be difficult and when her husband’s unwillingness to try new food gets in the way it leads to arguments and leaves her feeling unappreciated. Angela, on the other hand misses family occasions the most and always flies back the States to be with her relations at Christmas time. For my own part, I find that Chinese New Year is a difficult time to be apart from my family and friends, as it passes in this country almost unnoticed.
Finding a job in this country is perhaps the hardest thing for anyone starting a life here, particularly in a time of economic hardship. Language can be an issue, but many employers simply ignore qualifications or experience gained abroad, and like it or not, the truth is that racist attitudes still persist in the workplace. As an oriental woman and graduate I found it difficult to get employment agencies to take me seriously. Looking for office work I was often fobbed off, ignored, talked down to or offered menial jobs such as hotel cleaning. On one occasion I was even told to my face that my employment experience in Taiwan was worthless and that only experience in this country would be considered. One woman I talked to, Joan, an electronic hardware designer in Taiwan with an extensive portfolio, can find no-one willing to take her on, and has seriously considered moving back to the Far East to find work.
Making friends here is also sometimes hard. From my own experience, people from Taiwan are more open and straightforward, whereas the British often seem more awkward and reserved in social situations. Often they will try to break the ice by talking about the weather or something completed unrelated to the current situation and it takes them longer to get to know you well and trust you fully. Privacy about one’s personal life is much more of an issue here, and people often hide the details of their lives from you, even if they know you well. Friendships take longer to form and can often just exist on the surface.
On top of all of this, relationships between people of different nationalities have to cope with strain of going through the seemingly endless visa process in order to stay together. Both of you have fill out so many forms and collect so much evidence to prove that the relationship is genuine and one mistake can mean going back to the start and trying again. All of this; just for a piece of paper from the Home Office to allow you to stay with your love. However during this experience I realised that when you truly love a person you will do anything and not hold back when you are fighting for what you really want. I realised that it would only make us stronger and that I was not afraid to tell anyone that I truly loved him.
All of these difficulties reveal one thing, that if you are both willing to conquer them and not give up, then you are meant to be together. Here I am, a woman from Taipei, Taiwan now living in Bradford, England. I won’t say everything is easy, but I believe if both of us want to make things work then it will. When you find the love of your life, you know that you will fight for them.
我一直以來都有寫日記的習慣自從結婚以後我就偶爾會寫寫自己的想法存檔好像是因為[身邊朋友讓我決定想寫一篇以自己為出發點的真愛文章
所以我貼在這裡
裡面我用的名子都是捏照但是所有的訪問都是用電話還有內容也是經過當事人同意可以寫
所有的informationa 都是真實的沒有誇張
大家看看如果有建設性的想法可以跟我說
已經有在連絡magazine or womens magazine to publish attach with photos
真的出版我會把雜誌告訴大家因為已經在談了
謝謝大家不吝惜看我的文章
可歆
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是的
